a part of Transcendence mini-series After that evening, I did my best to avoid Agnieszka. But I need to tell another story, just to give proper background. The following days I wouldn't want to be my employer. In my mind I kept replaying that tanda. It was with me when I read e-mails, when I did counseling work for my clients, when I gave lectures. It was like music in the background, but more in the front than background music was supposed to be. My general productivity was way below low. Coming Friday I went to the regular Tabor milonga. I was relieved to learn Agnieszka wasn't coming. Barbara, my dancing partner, had come before me and had already danced a few tandas by the time I arrived. We embraced and danced to the first song of the tanda. It was OK. Not really a material for its own story, but fine. Especially since it was the warm-up tanda for me. And I didn't particularly like the music. After the first song Barbara said: »Today you dance like a shy bunny.« I wanted to tell her one does not give negative feedback at a milonga. But I didn't. I tried not to be upset about her opinion. We danced the second song. After the song she again offered feedback saying: »What's up with you today? You move like a little wind.« »Fu*k you and your little wind, woman,« I wanted to yell in her ear, but remained silent. One of these days I expect a National Tango Award for all the times I kept quiet during milongas. Tanda ending, we walked off the dance floor. I did my best not to show her she's made me angry. What did she know about tango anyway? Could she dance like I danced with Agnieszka? I didn't think so! Her feedback's hurt me more than I dared to admit. But actually, what was hurting? Which idea that I had about myself got hurt? You see, if she called me a fat black kid, I wouldn't mind. No clash there. I waited til Barbara accepted a cabeseo from some guy. I was fast to change shoes and got the hell out of there. My best eskimo exit ever. Coming home I was furious. How was this even possible? 5 days ago I had the best tanda ever and tonight my own dancing partner is making fun of my dancing? I decided I would not speak with Barbara about it. Unless she would ask. Then I would murder her with my righteousness. The next day I was still upset, practically from the moment when I woke up. Again, I realized with bitterness that I had been a lot more spiritual before I took on tango... Our school had a special women technique workshops today, called Superlady, led by Sanja and Agnieszka. Barbara was attending. Good for her! God knows she needed it, haha! Some time early evening, Barbara called to ask if I was home. I said I was. She said she was downstairs and wanted to come up. I buzzed her in and sharpened my words. We had a good talk. She admitted she was totally not wanting to 'do' anything with her talking during our yesterday's dance. She didn't even know she was not supposed to give feedback. I believed her. She was one of the purest humans I knew. She promised she would not say a word to me ever again while dancing. I told her she's overreacting, but I generally liked her proposal :) While we talked and had a glass of wine on the balcony, my phone received a text message. It was from Agnieszka. I knew it even before I walked over to check my phone. »Are you coming to the milonga tonight? :)« read the message. My heart skipped a beat. ! Transcendence part 3: after the tanda (shy bunny) is a part of Transcendence mini-series. Last episode coming soon !
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AuthorBlaz B, social tango dancer since February 2015. I'm sharing these posts to inspire future tango beginners, to encourage today's beginners and to possibly entertain those dancers, who have already become regulars at tango heaven.
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