Dancing from the future As we were getting into the embrace, Sanja wanted to know how my night had been so far. I said fine, then mentioned the Russian grazie woman. She took a step back, her jaw dropped: »She did what!? That bitch!« And that was just the start of Sanja's holy anger. As she was 'fighting' the bad russian woman, we embraced again. I liked the song. It was both jolly and somehow swingy. And also quite strong. Which was perfect for me. I could do something musically out of just walking. I started with a humble front step. No drama. And then I continued. It was going pretty good, I thought. I even ventured to - »I did the cross,« Sanja interrupted her speech on ungrateful followers who think they only deserve skilled leaders since they have been dancing »already« for 2 years while not taking clasess anymore because when a good leader compensates their poor technique well now sure they think they dance great but it's not reality and oh – oh they forget so quickly they were beginners themselves not so long ago they are in fact still beginners because... She was quite a chatter-box. I was surprised I hadn't notice this about her before. But I was even more surprised to see that her mouth was in no way interrupting her body. She danced as if her body had a mind of his own. She was totally there. No, I didn't want her to shut up. I actually enjoyed the shower of angry words. I realized I myself was not really angry at the russian-looking grazie woman. At least not anymore. I was safe in this embrace. First song ended. It was pretty cool, actually! The second song began to play. I took a long step back and she followed perfectly. Then something inside went 'click.' It was the sound of a switch I didn't know was there. My inside felt the music getting stronger. Music spoke to me. I understood it. Suddenly all my musicality burst open. My body became a train. I simply ran over Sanja's angry words. My steps felt like they were coming from Earth herself. I was not a hunter, stalking prey, trying to outsmart it. I was a head-on warrior, all fired up at broad daylight. We went nuts in a poetic kind of way. She stopped talking. I led stuff I didn't know how to lead, nor did I know it even existed. I was developing the choreography faster than my mind could invent it. Magically, it all made sense to Sanja and she danced with incredible amount of energy, yet possessed so much grace and control. She was Force, disguised as Gentleness. I was getting drunk on both. I was dancing as if my life depended on it. The end of the second song offered a chance for a little breather. We stayed inside the embrace. No one spoke. My inner engine was still firing and we continued where we left off when the third song began to play. I had no idea who kept coming up with something new to lead in each moment. And the next moment. And now. And yet, we were like two steam trains in swirling motion. All I knew was that my inside was filling up to the brim, fast. I couldn't have contained more. But then the next moment. And the next. My eyes lost focus long ago... – »hey, was that not a giro we just made?! Let's do that again. Wow, that was something else, but – oh... that piano phrase. Ta-ra-ra-Taa-ra-ra! Were those my feet moving so fast? Here – a cross. Oh, yeah, baby. I know you did that cross«. And then the next moment. And next. »And these sweet violins«. The now. Moments exploding into existence with each beat! Now! Now! »Is this song ever going to end?« »Please don't let this song end.« We finished the song on the beat with a crescendo of energy. Then, unexpectedly, cortina played. The hunt was over and the warrior disarmed. I fell prey to tango. Something was burnt out. A sense of wonder slowly took its place. »But wait, only three songs,« I exclaimed. »It's vals, darling.« She hugged me and held me as if she was never gonna let go. She held me like she knew I believed a miracle had just happened. Sanja took me off the dancefloor, arm-in-arm. I was too mesmerized to recognize where in the space we were. I needed nothing more from this night. *** However, the night wasn't over. My apartment-mates would definitely not go home before the last song played. My body still full of what just happened, my mind grew wings to contemplate and understand: It was the strangest sensation. I was not dancing from any known space or experience. Not even from any unknown space, because that would imply it had been an existing space. Probably I've seen too many sci-fi movies but... I felt like my future self jumped back in time and took over my body. My mind was waltzing. At some point it had a break thru: I would have to sacrifice one - time or myself. In all sanity I hereby declare: it was indeed me dancing, but from my future. This was how I would be able to dance sometime in the future. I had just experienced my future tango skill with a little help of time-travelling. Being a tango beginner and a hobby philosopher at the same time... not easy :) My inner adviser said: »now that you had this great dance, and you're all warmed up, and you just got super skill-boost – use it. Go and hunt!« So I got up again and started walking around the dancefloor. I remembered I would do well to look sharp and make my chest look more noticable, to let the ladies know I was for real :D Ah, there it was, the mirada again. A brunette in a simple jade dress. After accepting my cabeseo, she took off her glasses and smiled. The Slovene oil tanker
I returned to my acting skills. I performed the slow, swiss-watch style of getting into the embrace, followed by, you guessed it - the now famous side-step grande dramatico. You can also pretty much guess the rest of it. But somehow I felt it was not just my poor leading skill that stood in the way of a nice and comfortable dance. It took me a while to figure out what it was... It was her! Now don't get me wrong, I was properly raised to know better – it's always the leader's fault – but maybe it was time to introduce exceptions to the rule? So here's facts: she made it difficult for me to move about. Physically. She was 'heavy'. Not physically but in the way she gave pressure to the chest and in the way she would need soooooo much input before making any movement by herself. It felt like I had to drive around a large ship. An oil tanker at that! First song ending, she opened the embrace and asked: »Where do you come from?« »Slovenia –» »Oh, yeah, me too - ,« »- ha, funny we speak English, no?« Since my tango wasn't much, I admit I took some pride in believing I was a pretty good conversationalist. (conversation continues in Slovene) »- but actually I live in England,« she added. »Oh. Um. Okay.« Second song started to play. Well, a job is a job, even if your job is an oil tanker driver. So I drove her around some more, investing excess effort every step of the way. After the second song she touched her forehead: »Actually I... I don't feel so well...« »Oh. What's wrong?« I got it. I knew what was going on. So I decided to be a good sport and join the role-play. »I don't know. I just feel like...« »What? What do you feel like?« I raised my eyebrows and wrinkled my forehead to show sympathy for her state of being. »... like maybe I'd better sit down." »Yes, right. Of course. Would you like me to –» »- yes.« »Certainly. Let's go sit down. Come, nice and easy.« I accompanied her off the dance floor to the spot where we met. Her first steps were weak, but the second half of the way already brought her relief. We reached her spot and she was feeling much better already. I understood there was no need for me to stick around. With my forehead still wrinkled I bid her adieu. That was the most theatrical and subtly performed 'grazie' I was dealt with that night. I almost didn't care. I didn't even have to close my eyes and I was back dancing those valses again. Funny how now the valses have already become 'those' valses that indeed happened in the past, even though they came from the future. Right? Ultima played. I sat and watched. I saw beauty wherever I looked. I was happy until further notice.
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AuthorBlaz B, social tango dancer since February 2015. I'm sharing these posts to inspire future tango beginners, to encourage today's beginners and to possibly entertain those dancers, who have already become regulars at tango heaven.
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