Let's begin by me admitting it took me 8 months to figure out how to spell cabeceo :) 'Pohruškanje' A cabeceo is something that has become a pre-requisite in our tango community. Ladies would appreciate it if you did it and would resent you if you didn't. So, clearly, not much of a choice. 'Slatkice', a non-formal group of younger generation tango ladies here in Ljubljana, have even invented a term to describe the act of a man asking for a dance without cabeceo: to be »pohrkuškana,« which would literary translate to »to be peared.« What it means is that a man picks her like a pear from a tree. He comes over, stands in close proximity and extends his hand to ask for a dance, often accompanied by a gesture of a slight bow towards the lady. Indeed, when a woman is sitting, 'pohruškanje' does remind me of a man picking pears from a small tree. Asking somebody to dance verbally, without the bowing and extending the hand, is also considered 'pohruskanje.' Of course, also a lady could 'pohruškati' a man. I have experienced it a couple times, enought to understand why women don't enjoy it. Cabeceo – what it actually is?
It is an appropriate act used to invite somebody to dance at a milonga. It's a ritual. It was often explained to me as if it had 4 stages:
A list of less know details include some suggestions I have heard or read recently:
Why bother with a cabeceo? Imagine this: you spot a woman, walk over and perform the forbidden act of 'pohruškanje'. She musters the courage and rejects you. And there you are, with your hand extended only to be left empty. This tree would not give fruit. A sense of public humiliation in the air. Surely, cabeceo has some exceptions: you may 'pohruškati' you colleague from class, your friend, your dancing partner. Especially at small local milongas or practicas. Strangely enough, I have adopted the cabeceo to the extent of diligently performing it. I use cabeceo at local milongas to invite my own dancing partner. Not always, but most of the time. Part II will be about the 4 types of cabeceo.
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AuthorBlaz B, social tango dancer since February 2015. I'm sharing these posts to inspire future tango beginners, to encourage today's beginners and to possibly entertain those dancers, who have already become regulars at tango heaven.
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